Have you ever wondered........

Have you ever wondered why a woman with a complaint of vaginal discharge comes to the ER with her three kids? I mean, what does she think we are going to do with them during the pelvic?

Have you ever wondered why the men who are all pierced and tattoo'd are the ones most likely to vagal out when getting stitches?

Have you ever wondered why all the mandatory meetings are scheduled at 1pm which is the equivalent of 1 am to the night shift?

Have you ever wondered why your boss will call you in on your day off because you didn't complete some form but won't let you know you have a subpoena waiting until you come back from your stretch of days off and find out you missed a court date?

Have you ever wondered if your patients really think you believe them when they tell you their Vicodin prescription blew out the window of their car/got stolen by their girlfriend/got eaten by the dog?

Have you ever wondered what your patients home looks like when they come in with filthy hair and clothes? (ewwww)

Have you ever wondered if their is some billboard outside that says 'Tell the triage nurse you have chest pain and you'll get right back?'

Have you ever wondered why someone would design a forty bed ER with one patient bathroom?

Have you ever suspected that the EMS guys who pick up a drunk passed out on the street automatically think 'hmmmm, a stinky drunk - let's take him to Hospital X (your hospital'

Have you ever wondered if the guy who was shot by 'sumdood' really thinks you believe him when he tells you he was just 'walking along, minding my own business.'

Have you ever wondered if the aluminum foil hat really works? Or if the crazy people are really the one's that are OK and it's us that have the problem?